MAGE-ML has been promoted as a standard format for describing microarray experiments and the data they produce. Two characteristics of the MAGE-ML format compromise its use as a universal standard: First, MAGE-ML files are exceptionally large - too large to be easily read by most people, and often too large to be read by most software programs. Second, the MAGE-ML standard permits many ways of representing the same information. As a result, different producers of MAGE-ML create different documents describing the same experiment and its data. Recognizing all the variants is an unwieldy software engineering task, resulting in software packages that can read and process MAGE-ML from some, but not all producers. This Tower of MAGE-ML Babel bars the unencumbered exchange of microarray experiment descriptions couched in MAGE-ML.